Stars and Stolen Moments
by beachesandstars6
Summary: Title Changed Rating increased,for now. Post Rent This is a story about the group surviving another loss. RogerMimi. This is my first Rent story please read and review ....
1. Coping

Living Through This -

This is my first Rent fic. I don't own a thing - these characters completely 100 percent belong to Jonathan Larson - who was amazing in my opinion, the best. Anyway - this is going to be a story about how the group yet again pulls together when they lose someone. This is going to be told from Roger's point of View unless it gets too complicated or I feel like writing as someone else. I am always open to suggestions - even though I kinda have the plot outlined already, but who ever actually stays with the plan all of the time.The title is still subject to change - if you have an suggestions please leave them . Anyway on to the story I hope you like it...

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Roger's Point of View

I was sitting out on the fire escape. I was star gazing to a point, there was only so many stars that were allowed to make it through the harsh city glow of neon and crome. The past year had gone fairly well , nothing extreme had happened until about a month ago. Mimi was getting sicker, and sicker by the day now. It was unspoken between us now that it would only be a matter of time. This virus had already taken its toll on everyone and we knew sadly that the outcome of this wouldn't be good.

As I was sitting outside in the cool December air , everything finally was catching up to me in that moment. There was so much going on in my head it was overwhelming and numbing all at the same time. I didn't know what to do and I soon realized that this whole situation was completely out of my control. I was spinning out of control slowly and at the same time it was rapidly free falling. I was reminded about how Angel had slipped away from all of us and the same looming threat was now present with Mimi. I didn't think I could handle losing any more people , I didn't think that any of us could at this point.

Memories flooded back of April, finding April that night, finding out about having HIV, meeting and then losing Angel - as much as Angel was full of happiness and hope and wouldn't want us to dwell on her death, it still was a fresh wound and seemed to open up from time to time. I don't know how Collins can stand to be in the apartment, when Mimi is sick, it reminds me about how Angel was when she was sick those last few months. I wouldn't be ableto do it then again, Collins was the strongest out of all of us. I admired him greatly for that strength among many other things. Collins had moved back in with us not too long after Angel's death but at first he had been away because of work as soon as Mimi had gotten sick he returned and offered us support. So there was four of us back in the apartment again.

Mimi had moved into my room and Mark and Collins had their own rooms. The setup reminded me of how things were when I had first moved in with Mark and Collins just because we all seemed to be there at the same time again just hanging out with each other. Maureen and Joanne were also constants in the loft as much as they could be. But they had become a lot closer with Mimi so it was the girls and the guys when they all hung out now. It was comfortable for everyone and then Mimi had gotten sick.

I felt overwhelmed, and defeated at that moment from all of the memories. I rested my head in my hands, resisting the urge to get up and run away from everything. I wanted to be alone and at the same time that very thought terrified me. I was outside only because Mimi had fallen asleep normally I would not have left her but I need to take a breath. The gentle breeze of the night caressed the tears that were beginning to fall when I picked up my head. I heard the window behind me open. I was unsure as to who it was so I stayed silent.

"Hey, Roger" Collins said softly. I was glad it was him and not anyone else. Collins understood me sometimes in ways that I didn't even understand myself. He knew what I was going through right now he had gone through the same thing with Angel. The understanding and compassion seemed to flow freely from him surrounding me, completely comforting me. He didn't ask me how I was because he already knew the answer, he just stood behind me letting me know he was there. I didn't turn around to face him because if I had looked him in the eyes I would have broke. I think Collins knew that I was crying because he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently.

Then it happened that dam that was holding me together just broke. I started sobbing and Collins stayed next to me and let it happen. He knew that I needed this , that it needed to happen away from Mimi. I had to deal with this myself if I could be any help to her when the time came. Collins pulled me close and just comforted me. My head found his shoulder and I just cried. Collins didn't pacify me with false hopes that everything would work out and that everything would be fine. In reality we both knew that might not be the truth and there was no reason to lie about it. Collins did however reassure me that I wasn't alone and that no one would leave me without support. Collins knew that I needed that unconditional support and love. He held me against him until I had calmed down and the tears had subsided.

"I'll go check on Mimi, you take as much time as you need." Collins said before he reentered the window. I stayed outside for a little while longer , talking to Angel. Since Mimi had gotten sick, I had been doing that alot more. When I was scared or just feeling like I would need to talk I would talk to Angel, not necessarily verbally but in my mind. It was like old times , I would be sitting on our couch in the loft talking to her. That feeling that someone was there just spiritually comforted me. I watched Collins walk to my door and peek his head in and since he didn't enter the room I assumed that it meant Mimi was still asleep and fine .

I reentered the loft to find everyone gathered in the "living room" of sorts that we had. They were all silent once I had walked in so I figured that it meant they had been talking about earlier when Collins had come outside. I didn't care though, they were just concerned. All of them had been helpful and supportive in their own ways. Whether it was Mark fooling around with his camera to help get Mimi to laugh, Maureen with her constant dramatic stories to entertain and fill the dull moments , Joanne helping us with cleaning up around the loft when we needed it, Collins was always there for when I needed a break or Mimi needed to talk . I am so grateful for all of them.

As I was gathering my thoughts I was walking around the kitchen getting medication for Mimi and a glass of water to take to our room. I took my AZT and then walked past the group to my door. As I was opening it Mimi had begun to cough, Collins asked if we needed anything and I replied no, I heard Mark sighing as I was shutting the door.

"Hey , baby" I said quietly. Mimi opened her eyes and looked up at me "Hi" she responded weakly.

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Okay I know - cliffhanger ending but I just wanted to get this out there and see the response. So please Review - it would make my day. The next chapter is already underway and almost done so it should be up in the next few days. I hope you liked it so please Read and Review. 


	2. Just Us

A/N - Okay so I was alittle discouraged rather alot discouraged to only receive two reviews but its better than nothing and I thank the people that did review it was you guys that incouraged me to keep this story going. I have never written smut/fluff like this before so please tell me if I should be working on something or tell me if I did a good job. So you have been warned nothing too graphic but its defintely in the chaper. I hope you enjoy this chapter

Chapter 2

"Hey, baby" I said quietly. "How are you feeling?" I asked as my eyes were searching her face for any signs of discomfort. I already knew the answer though, today was a little bit worse than yesterday and I had been preparing myself for that. She smiled softly though and just looked up at me with her big chocolate brown eyes. The only thought that came in to my head was how beautiful she looked, even now, pale skin and tired eyes. She still had that spark that made her my Mimi. I brushed the hair out of her eyes as she was sitting up. I slowly held a glass of water out to her with her medication, accepted both and took the medication with ease. The coughing had stopped filling the room with an eerie silence, we had both been up late the past few nights and into the early morning hours sometimes even because of the coughing fits. I didn't mind staying up with her but I could tell she was in tremendous amount of pain because of the coughing, I didn't want her to be in any pain at all.

When she was done with the water I set it down on our makeshift night stand, it was a little table that Angel had given Mimi for her birthday a couple of years after they had met. Angel had covered this table with all sorts of colors of paint and random inspirational quotes, Mimi loved that table and when I had first seen it , it was evident to me why she loved it so much. You could literally feel the love jumping off of that table.

As I slipped off my shoes and leather jacket, she was adjusting herself in the bed to make herself more comfortable in the bed. I slid in next to her, she curled up with me instantly. I spooned her body close to my chest and wrapped my arms around her.

"Roger, promise me something." She spoke up softly .

"Anything baby." I quickly replied

" Be here with me holding me like this when I die"

I swallowed back the tears that were now gathering in my eyes. I tried to reply with a strong steady voice but I faltered slightly , "Of course, I will but lets not think about that" Mimi interrupted me "Baby , we have to deal with it at some point. I want to now, no day but today, you know its okay right ? I am not scared and you shouldn't be either. Okay ?" That made me wanna scream, No Its Not Okay ! You aren't allowed to leave me, I can't loose you. But I just felt the lump in my throat grow and I stayed silent for awhile and kissed her forehead and trailed down to her lips , as I pulled her closer to me.

"I love you so much Mimi, I will always love you forever. I don't know what I am going to do without you." She softly interjected " Baby, you will be fine and you will live for the moment." My eyes again filled with tears but they didn't fall. She lifted her head up and pressed our lips together. The contact woke both of us up greatly and the intense emotions were flooding the room with ease. She finally broke the kiss after my protest for a bit. She leaned in towards me ear. " I want to , I want you to know just how much I love you. I want you to make me forget everything but us in this moment, I want you so much right now." She finished softly with only desire filling her small but strong voice.

We began kissing and just let our hands roam everywhere. Rather her hands were roaming, mine stayed firmly on her waist, I didn't want to hurt her in anyway. I was afraid she was to fragile to do this, I was afraid she was too weak.. But the passion behind her touches and kisses were slowly reassuring me but I was still hesitant to move my hands from their current position. I slowly trailed kisses up her neck and stopped at her ear only whispering " Are you sure that you want to do this ?" She didn't miss a beat

"Of course baby." as she finished she began pulling at my shirt, trying to remove it from my body. I finished removing my shirt and we were lip locked again in an instant. My hands making slow movements just at the hem of her shirt. She spoke up " I am not going to break in to pieces you know ..." I replied with "I know but I don't want to hurt you on accident or something" She said "Baby, it's not possible. So please stop worrying at let us enjoy this for now."

I nodded and kissed her on the cheek and let my hands continue their journey and relaxed myself next to her and just lets us feel each other. She pulled me on top of her after all of the articles of clothing that had once separated were now gone. She arched her soft body against mine firm one and she pulled me closer to her. I asked her once again if she was sure she wanted to do this and her response was thrusting her body against mine hoping I would get the picture , I did. As we became one I was overwhelmed actually we both were. Tears were streaming down our faces and she was reaching up to wipe mine away as I was reaching down to wipe hers away. We didn't move for a while just stayed completely together as one. We had a pair of our hands interlocked with each other above her head while my other arm was supporting my weight. I showered her face and neck in kisses and mixed with our tears. The candle light was perfect and just added to the memory. The tears slowed as our bodies began reacting to each other and the tension began to overtake us. Even through our now sporadic breathing increased Mimi didn't have any difficultly with her breathing and there was no coughing at all that was a relief for both of us. As our bodies found the release they so desperately sought out the emotion of the whole thing began to overtake us again, the gravity of the moment seemed to make us loose it even more. The tears were again there evident more than ever. I didn't break the bond that we had until it was absolutely necessary to and the pain that I felt when I had to leave the warmth of her body made me sick to my stomach.. I got up from the bed to find some clothes to put back on our bodies to keep us warm and I redressed her , wrapped a blanket around us. She was not only physically but emotionally spent as was I but the smile that she had when she slipped into my arms was so apparent it made me smile softly. We cuddled next to each other whispered I love you's over and over again until she drifted off to sleep. And then only then I would let myself fall asleep next to the woman that I loved, and that I feared I would loose all to soon. I was not ready to face the reality that seemed to be sneaking up on me all too quickly.

A/N I hope you liked it - Please review and tell me what you thought - even if you didn't like it - I always appreicate other writers opinions.


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